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Why I chose to become a Pagan
and a few other spiritual concepts

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The author in her ritual robes, carrying her rune carved mage staff.
The author in robes of many colours, holding her mage staff - Image copyright by Lilipily Spirit
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 (Index )

SPIRITUAL EDUCATION

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I was brought up as a Christian, and while I had explored many spiritual streams and studies during my lifetime I actually did not fully embrace paganism until my third decade of life. Moreover, Druidry was not a pagan stream that my Australian society was well versed in, since we did not have regular folk festivals and may poles and morris men to enliven our realms and recall the romantic days of ancient Merlin and worship in stone circles.

 

Prior to adopting Druidry (by considered and assertive choice), I suppose at best I would have said I had leanings toward New Age spirituality, (whatever that means). 

 

In many ways, I retain an interest in New Age spirituality, but today I am far more conversed with the roots of that type of spirituality, and its true meanings. Therefore, my paganism is informed by Vedism, Tantra, and Buddhism, as well, and along the path to getting to this spiritual place, I have been a Rosicrucian, a Spiritualist, and studied Theology.

 
 

 

I am not your typical western pagan, although I am aware that paganism takes many forms and offers many choices. Even Vedism and Buddhism are essentially pagan streams but, in western society today, most people think of paganism as the 'cult' of Wicca or witchcraft and its associated elements. Fact is, as I finally broke away from the last vestiges of Christian spiritual culture, I did explore Wicca, but found it not completely to my taste. There were many things about Wicca that I did not agree with - modes, actually, rather than the spiritual stream. And then I discovered Druidism, and almost all fell into place. Druidism encompassed Wicca, but had none of the inherent rebellion and radicalism that Wicca had.

 

I've since engaged with many Wiccans along my path, and they are fine people, but certain modes still make me feel out of my depth. Until that state ever changes, I intend to keep following my self-styled neo-druidic path. 

 

There are Druids who tell me that my modes are more Wiccan than Druid, and Wiccans who tell me I am definitely not Wiccan in my ways. I believe their reasoning lies in the fact that, today, after over twenty years of travel, I have reincorporated a lifetime of spiritual learning and experience into my path, which I can safely say no longer makes me as pure a druid as I once aspired to be. But I am comfortable with my modes and my beliefs, with their spattering of pragmatic Buddhism and undercurrents of deep Vedic philosophies. 

 

I no longer feel a need to reject Christian modes as an expression of rebellion against what I saw as anti-Christian behaviour, and now only maintain a rejection of the separatist tendencies in any religious mode, and against falseness and arrogant choices. I have become a true but free form pagan, able to adopt all religions and spiritualities for their true expression - connecting with the divine and empowering spirit in each of us. In that state, I have friends across many cultures, from many spiritual modes. The bottom line for me is spirit and spiritual connection, and honoring the derivatives of that. In all my spiritual relationships with others, the barriers are crossed every time by harkening to that basis.

 
 

 

There are many personal beliefs, philosophies and reasons for my following a pagan path. My spiritual education has been deep and wide, and it was inevitable that my enquiring mind and assessments of that education would eventually see me question the blind acceptance of church rule that most Christians follow. 

 

Because I am so invested in the spiritual undercurrents in all life, I also needed to show my gratitude by honoring the divine in some way, and to continue that worship after the initial structures of Christianity in my life fell apart. The education I have had in these matters meant that I would always find it hard to fit completely into one spiritual or religious stream. In the end, paganism was the soundest choice for me, solely because of its ability to freely form selections and to create one's own personal style of worship. And so far, though other spiritual streams and education inform me, Druidry is the basis for all my spiritual rituals. It is the path that brings my heart the most joy in its expression, and has founded new traditions in my family, and new feast days to savor.

 

 

The following includes the basic spiritual philosophies and credos, that inform my life. They may be obscure or arcane to those who have never touched upon them before, and therefore hard to read and follow. It's your choice if you read further from this point. It's a ramble, to be sure.

 

 
 

 

To me, the life we lead, in the physical world, is simply a phase of our spiritual existence; immortal, unending, spiritual existence is the real truth of our lives. Therefore, I also believe in reincarnation, as Druids long ago believed; we, as aspects of the One God, are the cycling dynamics expressing its existence. 

 

 

I believe that all that is, was, and ever has been, exists eternally; that all knowledge is already known; that nothing really 'new' will ever be discovered under our sun, or anywhere else. 

 

Our lives operate under a set of circumstances whereby we incarnate into physical bodies to experience God's theories of life and relationship in an expressive and actualising form. 

 

Why might we do that, if all is already known and experienced, you might ask? Well, why do card players continue to play cards, no matter how great their experience and knowledge? Why do we continue to play board games, time and again, when we already know the outcome? Why do we do the same things, over and over, each day of our lives? 

 

We do it because it is interesting, because it is fun, because it feels good to explore these things, physically, emotionally, and mentally; because it makes us feel 'alive'. I believe God experiences the same through the manifestation of our selves in individual physical forms; God thus experiences the endless combinations of form that can explore all types of relationship. For me, that is the reason why we are alive, and not because of any need to become 'better' than we are.

 

Now, that is quite a radical point of view for those following traditional religions, or for those whose beliefs embrace a personal/spiritual evolution and an end point, whereby they 'graduate' into 'Heaven' or 'Nirvana'. 

 

My God and my spirituality need no end point. 'Heaven', to me, is the bliss and peace that can be found in life, any life, here on Earth, on any planet, in any aspect of the Cosmos, or in the essence of spiritual life, itself. It is not an end phase, it is merely a rest phase, a rejuvenation phase; a period of getting ready for the next bout of dynamic activity and of expressing spirit through manifestation in physical form. Reincarnationally, as I understand it, 'Heaven' is the before birth and after death phase of physical manifestation. 


In my beliefs, our physical existence is held together by certain almost unbreakable cosmic laws, just like a computer program holds together the patterns and imagery of a computer game; as an astrologer, I have discovered these mathematical patterns for myself. (Cosmologists and other scientists work with these dynamics every day - the forces that hold atoms and sub-atoms together, and the attractions that shape and create).


My spirituality's concept means that nothing physical will ever truly harm me. I am spirit; that is my truth. That is who I am. I am a manifesting aspect of the One God and, as an aspect of God, I am unable to be harmed, I am omnipotent. 

 

However, as the physical manifestation channeling that aspect, of course I can be harmed. As physical beings, we are inbuilt with sensory mechanisms, thoughts and feelings, whereby we can experience all manner of sensations, including pain and hurt. So, in the manifest world, as a physical being, I can be harmed. 

 

As a spiritual being, I cannot. 


Now, here's another 'out there' concept: Whatever we do in this life and whatever form or role we take, we are still innocent as spirit and always will be. 

Please understand that I am not advocating destructive or negative acts as condonable. I am just pointing out what I see as a spiritual truth from a cosmic point of view. 

 

 

 
 

 

I was once 'given' a vision of the world changes that will one day manifest and this worried me so much that I talked to God about it. 

(By the way, we can all do that - just like we can talk to ourselves. We need no third party to enable communication with God. We simply talk things over). 

 

Anyway, God, in its omnipotent and cosmic form, told me that there was no need to worry - all would be well. Nothing would hurt me. 

 

Of course, God was saying that from God's point of view, which is 'of spirit' and very detached from physical events. You could liken that to a parent telling children who are watching a horrible disaster movie: "Don't worry, it's just a movie." To God, we are all children role playing and those roles can take absolutely any form, including being 'murderers' and 'victims'. 

 

Remember the days before 'political correctness', when children played 'cops and robbers' or 'cowboys and indians' ? If we view our lives as existing in similar modes of 'play', it puts an entirely different and interesting turn on things. At the end of the 'game', we all go 'home for dinner' - 'cops' and 'robbers' sitting at the same table.

 

I am reminded of a conversation I once had with a disembodied spirit who had molested his daughters during his physical life. I asked him why he did it and how did he feel about what he had done? He answered that during his physical life he was lonely and took a wrong 'path', which he later regretted, but that those modes belonged to his physical incarnation and were not relevant in his life as spirit. He was once more innocent and pure, and detached from those events, so should not be further judged for them. 

 

It took me a moment to think over what he said, but I understood it in the same terms of role-play I described, above. As spirit, we all return to purity after the death of our bodies and are no longer burdened by the rigmarole of our physical manifestation. He had shed his earthly character like an actor sheds his role after the play has ended. Do we ask the actor who played a 'villain' or the role of 'murderer' to account for their actions during the play? No, because it was a play, not reality. 

 

In my belief system, life is not the true reality. It only seems to be real. So, there lies another aspect of my spiritual beliefs: forgiveness and acceptance.

 

It's my choice to not invest in associating with nefarious characters during my life, any more than I invest a real attachment to the roles an actor plays on stage, but I can put their modes into context. In the context of life, I see them as bound by a role-play of destiny, which will cease when their body dies.

 

 
 

 

To me, all life is interconnected because we are all, absolutely, the manifesting aspects of God. So, though some of us are perhaps on the distasteful and even abhorrent side as physical beings, as essential spiritual beings we are innocent. Therefore, although as a physical being I do not condone bad behavior and I abhor acts of destruction and evil negativity, as a spiritual being I must realise that interconnection and forgive the acts, and forgive the negative 'path' and the evil character. I feel I must accept that, as physical beings, we are essentially 'flawed' and those 'flaws' are inherent in the 'cosmic' pattern of 'divine laws' that created us and which hold our physical reality together. Without those laws, we would not be able to experience the full dynamism of relationship so completely. Without them embedding a deep sense of 'reality' to the illusions of the physical realm, we would all too easily remember the purity of our immortal spirit and would not get caught up in the experience of that 'reality' to the levels that we do. People would have no testing challenges to endure because they would be detached from the 'illusion' of 'reality'. While their physical lives might undergo extreme difficulties, their detachment would enable them to process those difficulties without investing emotional pain in them. 

 

Such detachment is a basic process of buddhism, and is a 'path' to 'enlightenment'. However, 'taking the middle road,' as buddhists attempt to do, also means not experiencing the 'highs' that are measured against the 'lows'. For instance, we cannot experience real bliss until we have known sorrow. Or, metaphorically, we cannot know what 'day' is until we have known the 'night'. Light and Dark are simply natural expressions of 'form'. 

 

I believe that destruction and evil can come in the form of either Light or Darkness. Fanatics and zealots follow both paths. 

 

To me, light and dark must be in balance and used positively, not negatively, for true health and harmony. A 'garden' grows well only when it gets the right amount of 'sunshine' and the right of amount of 'night', (along with the right touch of rain). If the sun is too hot, the plants will burn and shrivel. If the night is too long, the plants will shrivel and decay. 

 

For me, my life is about achieving balance and harmony. It is about accepting my 'flaws' and the 'flaws' of others as simply natural. Even if I don't agree with the 'paths' others take, I can at least try to have compassion. Sometimes, I may try to guide those who are out of balance with these concepts toward a greater understanding of themselves, of life, of the cosmos, and of God, so that they no longer follow 'paths' that twist their characters and decay the soul that contains their 'blessed spirit'. However, such attempts don't always work, as some people are not 'meant' to change, no matter how much we might wish they would change. While those embedded 'laws' seem to see them continue to be bogged down in what we might see as negative life modes, life is lived on many levels. What we see of their actions and behavior in the physical condition may not always reveal their mental and emotional states. 

 

God experiences life through us in ways other than just through a physical state. So, often it is a challenge to realise that the notion of what is 'good' and 'right' is simply a notion, and one we create for ourselves. God has no such notion. God experiences all conditions, good and bad, as relevant. That's why the Buddha decided to live life to the full and just have compassion for those who were stuck with their condition after he discovered the truth whilst meditating under the bodhi tree. He realised that no amount of teaching or discipline will break through and enlighten anyone who is destined to be incapable of such breakthrough in their current incarnation or who was not ready for such teaching or discipline. 

 

The teachings of Jesus tell people to 'turn the other cheek' and to 'love thy enemy,' and the meanings are basically the same. We don't have to condone 'bad' behavior; we don't have to accept people who follow 'nefarious paths' into our intimate lives, but we can all have compassion for those stuck with such modes. They really may not be able to help themselves.


That said, as a human being, I am myself no angel. I am often 'flawed'. I lose my temper; I make mistakes; I have accidents, but as I understand it, God does not see these things as failure. God sees these things as part of the process of exploring myself, and of exploring my life and the lives of others I relate to. I believe that as long as I do not continue on a 'path of imbalance', and as long as I 'pick myself up' and try to regain harmony, all is okay. It's more than okay, it's good, and everyone can achieve that much. 

 

As famous poets and philosophers have previously said, "Life isn't meant to be easy." We can try to do the 'right' thing and we can try to get ourselves onto 'correct paths', but often new challenges 'crop up' to divert us. I have seen people bettering their condition in many ways, who were setback by new challenges and then simply gave up - but I don't believe that life is about 'giving up'. I don't believe in just accepting whatever is handed to me, either, unless it's clearly obvious I have no other choice. When the going gets tough and it's hard to make a decision about what to do next, I am a great believer in 'sitting on the fence' until it becomes blatantly clear which side has the greatest 'pull'. 

 

There's nothing wrong with that. When things are in the balance, I wait until the scales tip to one direction and follow or deal with that 'pull', then. If something needs to be addressed quickly, things will escalate quickly so that you just have to deal with them. If they don't, then I feel you can take as much time as you need. From personal experiences in my own life during times of major traumatic events, I can say that sometimes you have to 'hedge your bets.' Even in the smallest of moments, so long as an escalation isn't taking place, there is a potential for things to swing another way. 

 

I believe that life is a state of striving and struggling, where we have to keep on juggling, swaying and teetering on that seesaw to maintain balance. While some might consider this far too hard to cope with and a terrible thing to be inflicted upon us, I do not. How many people watch scary movies? How many ride roller coasters, and do so again and again? It's not such a difficult thing to do when you know you are truly 'safe', and that you can get off at the end and recover. 

 

That is what spiritual life means to me. No matter what besets me in life, I see it as a challenge. I may feel tested, at the end of my tether and even despairing at times but the frisson passes, the anguish abates and time really does restore a sense of balance. When my body finally dies, I believe I will move peacefully away from this physical life, unharmed. 

 

 (Index )

RESPONSIBILITY

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So, does that mean I must accept other people's 'bad' behavior? Of course, not. 'Bad' behavior, or 'evil' actions, are imbalances. Feeling sorry for people who can't obtain a better balance in their lives does not mean I have to allow their imbalances to continually upset my own harmony as well.

 

I do not accept my own 'bad' behavior, either. I accept the 'flaws' in my character that enable it to occur, but not the behavior if it's changeable. I am apologetic when I am 'wrong'. My natural inclination is to make things 'better' and to restore harmony. 

 

If that can be achieved with another individual who is experiencing imbalance, well and good. However, if communication of all kinds has been tried and failed, over and over, then I believe we do ourselves and our lives a disservice by continuing association with the extreme 'negatives' that can be inflicted upon us by others. 

 

Accepting that some people cannot change is one thing, accepting them as an interactive element when they are clearly and constantly disruptive to your functional life is another. While distress can be part of the events of life, I believe it should never be a constant. If other people keep causing distress, despite our best efforts to communicate and effectively engage with them, then I believe that such individuals are best left to their own devices and to their own destiny thread to work things out, as it will work out, in time. 

 

If they unfold their 'divine nature' enough to break through the negativity of their expression, then I give them another chance to see if they can integrate harmoniously. If not, I leave them alone again. I don't believe in making a martyr of myself unless it's necessary for the greater good. 

 

The ancient Celts dealt this way with people from their tribes who become unmanageable. They simply outcast them, and while that might sound awful, it was a good way of dealing with the really 'bad seeds'. Of course, some of them were let back in, eventually, but only if they proved themselves fit in some way. 

The ancient Druids did really have some horrific rituals for dealing with criminals, including burning people alive. They believed in reincarnation and that death could be the gift of a second chance to an individual, so they did not go around killing criminals without a lot of thought going into the process. They believed that killing criminals, without teaching them something of the wrongness of their actions, only gave them another chance to follow the same 'wrong path' in the next life. So, they burned criminals alive and, in so doing, they believed they imprinted the 'wrongness' of those individual's actions on their souls, so that they carried that death memory into their next life. They believed that this would act as a deterrent in the criminal's next incarnation. (This is just a piece of history, not my personal view on dealing with criminals. Rehabilitation is enough for me). 

 


So why do I follow this pagan path? Well, because paganism essentially deals with the interconnection of the 'manifesting aspects of divine spirit' that I believe in. 

 

Paganism, also, at a purely spiritual level (without the mythology) observes God as being 'One', a complete and omnipotent being that can manifest endless and multiple aspects of itself, including both genders at once - and that is something I have believed in long before I gave up on christianity. 

 

For me, becoming a pagan and aligning to what my 'deep inner self' truly believed in was an act of personal 'responsibility'. I believe that such an alignment should be made on many levels of life, by everyone. 

 

Removing myself from the 'bad' influences of people in modes of extreme and ongoing imbalance is simply a personal realignment, too. It is living a more 'responsible' life. 

 

People often think of responsibility as something that is done for others, and forget about their responsibility to themselves and to the divine. I believe in responsible relationships to everything and everyone, living or spirit. By being responsible in my relationships, which to me means having an 'integrity of the heart and mind', I am giving every expression its due value. In a 'responsible' life there is no wasted time or effort, because the 'Higher Mind' and the deepest sincerity of the 'Heart' is always followed.

 

 
 

 

The ancient Druids paved the way for Christianity to usurp their spirituality and festive traditions because of some simple facts of 'spiritual belief'. They believed that all gods were the same God and that all the names of God were just the many names of God; that the dual aspects of the male and female Arch Gods were simply the active and passive natures of the same God. Therefore, when Christianity came along, creating similar metaphors and similar mythologies, the Druids were lulled by their own simple spiritual truths and their 'open-minded attitudes' into accepting the new religion, to the extent that they even allowed their demi-gods to be changed into patron saints, etc. 

 

It was the spiritual concepts not the mythologies that were of the greatest interest to the Druids and their people, the Celts. For me, that also holds true. So, for those who might question why I call myself a 'Druidess', I answer that the spiritual concepts are my 'driving force'. I am not really interested in following a literal dogma or pantheon of gods and goddesses. I am not interested in ancient Gaelic/Nordic names or even the language, on anything other than a superficial level, for practical reasons. I am sure that the study of these things is fun to do and mentally stimulating but, for me, Druidism is essentially a spiritual path. The names, the history, the language, etc., are non-essential elements. So, I call myself a 'Druidess' and that is my choice. Everyone has that choice.


For the modern Druids who declared to me that there were never ancient Druidesses, there are historical excerpts that reveal the fact that there were ancient Druidesses, not just male Druids, but I did not keep records of what I read because it didn't interest me to do so at the time, and it still doesn't. I have taken what I needed from the knowledge I explored and moved on with it, but anyone who really cares to discover that knowledge for themselves can find it because it IS there. 

 

Druidesses did not have the same roles as male Druids in ancient Celtic society. They were priestesses, in the main, and their roles were spiritually oriented whereas the male Druids were also poets and singers, and judges, and were into politics and arts, etc. The females led a more quiet and sheltered spiritual life, but that, to me, is 'neither here nor there' because I can call myself a 'Druidess' in this day and age if I want to. 

 

Modern Druidism was an invention that began in a modern era, with concepts developed by the founders at the time. Since those individuals could 'see fit' to assert their own interpretation of the ancient 'spiritual path' of Druidism, then I have a right to my version of it. As a modern woman in Western society, I can be anyone or anything I want to, as can we all. The only thing holding me, or anyone else for that matter, back from doing anything are choices. (We all have choices. They may not be desirable choices but they are choices, nevertheless). Believing in reincarnation, who is to say that I was not a Druid in a previous life, male or female? In my heart, I feel at one with this 'path' and, in this lifetime, I am female. I declare I am a 'Druidess'. Though I have not spent decades pouring over druidic texts and learning ancient languages, if I was Druid in a previous lifetime then I would have done it all then. All I need now is the 'spiritual mission' and I have that.

I chose to call myself a 'Druidess' because this particular form of paganism fits best with my spiritual beliefs and the way I want to express them in my life. I also chose Druidry as a 'path' because it's rituals are inherent with ways to remind myself of my spirituality. Shouldn't we all take time out for this? 

 

The word, Druid, means 'Worshipper of the Trees'. Trees in general, for me, have a wondrous and wise spirit. I love nature and trees, and have a deep sense of empathy with trees and mountains, especially. However, I found the mainstream Druid organizations at the time I set out on this 'path' far too rigid with rules and regulations, and dogmatism. That's why I created my own 'loosely druidic path'. (Though, with tongue in cheek I realise that, going by the dictionary meanings of dogma, I could myself qualify as being dogmatic).

 

 

 
 

 

I tend to believe that we all live in mini 'worlds' of our own, and that what holds true for each of us is essentially true to the 'current life' we are experiencing in those 'worlds'. When the time is 'right' for that truth to be usurped by another, then we will change; if not, no amount of being told by someone else that their 'truth' is a better one will make an iota of difference. 

 

It's an odd notion for many people, that we can all be living in separate, individual 'worlds' of our own. In life, those people tend to see the connections between us all and don't remark on the differences, but you can begin to understand them when you try to tally history, especially personal history, with someone who has lived through it with you. Rarely, will they remember the same things you do or see them from the same point of view. While there will be coincidences and things in common, you can perhaps be astounded that things you swear never happened actually did happen in their accounts, and they swear by them happening, too. 

 

If it's possible for each individual to be living in a totally separate yet coinciding 'world' of their own, then it's ridiculous to assert the 'truths' of one 'world' upon another. They may not be relevant to another's 'world' at all, and would only be absorbed if that individual's 'world' had evolved to a stage where a new truth is capable of being accepted. 


Many modern Druids appear to follow the reformed ancient Celtic traditions to the letter, just as many Christians follow the bible. I believe these are stories, in both the Celtic traditions and in the bible, and in many other spiritual or religious tomes, and are simply metaphors for living life rather than being meant to be rule books or read as a 'pure' history. 

 

The ancient Druids guarded their true knowledge from the lower hierarchy, (which included the ranks of nobility from whence many of them came). In the areas of religion and law, the religious ranks were highest. Bards (poets and songsters) were allowed to 'air' tales to the masses but, as in other eras of history, only those who had been trained to the 'true lore', who were able to skilfully manage it, were said to understand the deeper meanings of it. Which is why Druid lore was only passed down through speech, mentor to disciple. They believed that words had inherent 'magic', and written forms could accidentally be seen and used by those who did not know what they were really doing. 

 

Druids were extremely conscious of the 'wrongful or misdirected use of magic', and there are many today who still believe that the general populace should not have access to their lore. However, a lot depends on viewpoint, and I believe that the viewpoint in such matters should always refer to the 'physical existence' and the 'destiny threads' that shape it. In our modern society, there are many seekers of 'alternative paths' and 'deeper wisdoms', who have no or little access to the 'paths' of learning that the ancient Druids preferred. 

 

I personally believe that information should be made available, so that 'true' seekers can continue to evolve. Such information would have come naturally to the very first Druids, long ago, through psychic visions and senses, not through secluded temples of learning. 

 

If someone's 'world' is not ready to accept these lessons, they will simply not acknowledge them for their 'true' value, or will skim quickly over them. If their 'world' is ready for the information, they will be eager to learn more. So long as their efforts are beseeching and respectful, there should be no problems even if they make mistakes. It's only when 'magic' is used to 'bind' entities to service that real problems arise. That is not a type of 'magic' I endorse, though I acknowledge it exists. 

 

 

The only 'seals' I have ever made were beacons of prayer, not enslavement, (and they worked very well indeed without demand or command). Even the runes I carve on the wands I make are only prayers and blessings. While there are spell kits sold in the shop on this site, along with talismans and amulets, each has been chosen with care to present only 'keys' to help people work prayers (spells) of protection and healing on many levels, and I support those elements, but I do not support 'forced magic' of any kind.

 

That's my viewpoint. I am aware that others have a different viewpoint, but I have to be honest to my own heart. I allow that knowledge should be made available to all seekers, wherever and whenever, but I draw the line at catering to modes that I perceive as 'wrongful', no matter how long those modes have been established, or what spiritual heights the perpetrators think they will attain from them. I personally find such modes absolutely unnecessary.

 

 
 

 

'Magic' is often associated with Druidry. The word, 'magic', derives from the word, mage, meaning 'wise one' (or wizard). 'Magic' is about using the natural 'laws of the cosmos' in a wise or knowledgeable way. When you know what you are about, then you can learn the programming language that holds physical life together and you can manipulate the program. 

 

As noted previously, the ancient Druids knew how to use 'magic' to manipulate the physical 'laws of existence' to manifest things, but they were also well aware of the dangers of doing so. They understood the very real interconnection between all aspects of 'manifestation', so they were extremely careful about the use of 'magic' and only used it as a 'last resort', when absolutely necessary. Since everything is so 'tied up' with everything else, changing one thing can set in motion a chain of events that can ruin other things that you don't want to be ruined ! 

 

In effect, 'magic' is a way of 'slipping the train track' onto a new route and of jumping into an 'alternative reality', and that 'reality' has its own ramifications. 

 

Anyone can use 'magic' since we ARE the 'divine manifestations of God'. It becomes more powerful and effective with experience and use, just as anything else can be mastered. At its basic best, 'magic' is the 'power of positive thinking' and of 'prayer'. It is the ability to 'heal' and to restore balance to extremely inharmonious situations. 

 

We don't really need to use 'magic' because God and the 'angelic aspects of God' (or powers) are always there to help us and will answer our prayers if we but ask. Sometimes, it takes many years before those prayers get answered or we don't quite get what we want, or we may not get it at all. That's because we each have certain destinies to fulfil, and we must play those destinies right into the 'end game'. That's in our best interests and in the best interests of the world we have manifested into, and in the best interests of the others we associate with, whose lives are interconnected with ours. Getting everything we want, the way we want it, can work against our best interests. So, the ancient Druids cultivated the 'Law of Right Action', and their reference in such matters was always to this 'Law'. 


That said, I do believe 'magic' has a place. As a healer, I naturally use 'magic' to encourage imbalanced energies to come into harmony, and I believe that 'magic' is a powerfully protective essence. These forms of its use are within the realm of the 'Law of Right Action'. (Which is why, no matter how much healing you give some people they do not always respond or fully recover, because their destinies are experiencing illness for a reason).

 
 

 

As an astrologer, I have noted the 'laws' which hold our 'reality' together. This life is no more 'real' than a 'virtual reality game', held together by 'computer language,' but it is almost so perfect that we perceive it as 'real.' That has its place - we would not live our lives with 'true integrity', for 'better or worse', and make the decisions necessary to play the 'game' with 'serious intent', otherwise. We would far too easily resort to 'cheats' to 'jump to new levels' (using magic), or give up when the 'going' got 'tough'. That is not God's intent, nor ours, as God. 


The 'laws' of our 'reality' hold us to the selves created for us (or by us), so that we remain true to being a plant, a human, or a dog, etc., in the tiniest fraction of our intrinsic nature. We, more often than not, make decisions based on those natures. That is the 'lot' we have been given, and it is only when we discover the 'laws' which hold the 'game' together and realise that it IS a 'game,' and find that it IS possible to talk to those mediating the 'game,' or to uncover the 'cheats' to 'jump' to other levels of the 'game' that we never thought existed, that we realise it is possible to override the intrinsic natures that were given to us (or created by us) as we entered into incarnation. 

 

I believe that these discoveries can be very subversive to some people. They can get caught up in exploring the 'alternative scenarios' and may become 'side-tracked' from living life 'fully and richly' in nature, naturally. However, I stop short of saying it is a 'wrong' way to live life. To me, it is possible that the way these people do this is also their destiny. Why else would they be able to explore these things at all ?

 
 

 

I do believe that finding 'shortcuts to enlightenment' can be as alluring as 'winning lotto' to get rich. So, there are groups of people who may be preyed upon by entities from other realms of existence, posing as 'gurus'. Personally, I am not of a mind to accept every individual who 'channels through to a lower plane' and feels free to opine philosophies. To me, these individuals are not necessarily more advanced just because they have passed to a different or higher 'vibrational plane'. Even where an entity is well-meaning, many times their opinions appear to be heavily modified by the person it has been channeling through. 

 

In these cases, the entity must use the channeler's mind and vocabulary to define its philosophies, and that is like 'playing with Scrabble tiles', where there is a limit to what can be conveyed in words. The closest definition within the channeler's mind or experience must be chosen in an effort to describe or translate, and this becomes a bit of a 'hit and miss' affair, and is a very unwieldy method of 'otherworld' communication. Channeling is also taxing on the 'mortal body', so it is far more respectful when an 'otherworld' entity guides people through intuition, dreams, 'trance travel', and 'inspired writing or communication'.  

 

We are all (whatever plane we inhabit) allowed to give and to hear opinions, and to receive new 'truths' from those who would 'air' them. In physical life, we have friends and mentors who guide us. In the metaphysical realm, we can have the same. While I don't like channeling as a form of communication with the 'otherworld,' I personally use 'Tarot' and 'runes', and receive vision and dream messages. This can be comforting in times of doubt and concern, but I've personally found that it's rare that any prophecy given through any of these modes can be used to change the long term future, even if you accept and try to accommodate it. 

 

I've had major premonitions of things to come in my own life, in the past, and each time I had little power over changing them. So I've concluded that foreknowledge has little power beyond advice and beyond instilling the ability to prepare for things to come. (Which is actually quite a gift, if you think about it). 

 

My own 'otherworld' contacts are my 'angel guides', 'spirit helpers', and 'divine mentors' - who I consider my friends and peers. But if I distance myself to a 'cosmic' point of view, I can see that each of us are already progressing toward our destiny and its ramifications. I believe that we will get there because when we were born we were given the ability and inclination to do so, however long that takes. That is just the process, and I feel that 'true' enlightenment is the acceptance of that - no amount of 'magic' of any kind will bring destiny one step closer than it is ready to be.

 

 

 

 (Index )

MANIFESTATION

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Destiny, however, in my belief, is not a general condition, but a series of 'signposts' that must be passed in order to shape a particular 'play' of life. Therefore, despite the role of destiny in our lives, we should not give up trying to make a difference. 

 

Prophecy only tells of the 'signposts' that must be passed, but there are certainly opportunities in almost every moment, that can be capitalised upon to set things in motion toward a 'greater good' in all parts of life leading to or surrounding those 'signposts'. 

 

Therefore, so long as destiny is not demanding a particular 'line' be tread, there is much leeway to create almost anything if you 'believe strongly enough' in it. That is the nature of 'magic' and the 'essential nature of the cosmos'. Since we are 'fractions of God', the 'ultimate creator', we can also affect the 'creation stream'. That is why beliefs and concepts can be so powerful, so certain, and even true. Even if they may later be proven wrong in their expression, they had 'power' and 'held true' for that person/people in their 'worlds' at that time, and affected the events thereof. Later, when other beliefs and opinions alter their structure, they dissipate. 

I believe that the 'laws of the cosmos' hold true on every level, just as 'computer language' holds a 'game' together. They affect all realities, macrocosm to microcosm. When you want to see or learn a 'cosmic law', look to the life you live or see others live - there, you will see a 'law' manifesting. So, for instance, when you can see that by belief in a person such as 'Adolf Hitler' he grows in power and magnitude, or by belief in 'Jesus Christ', so does he, then you can see the 'cosmic law' that 'belief gives credence and power to a concept'. It all depends on how much something or someone has a following, or how strong that following is, as to how enactable is the power of the entity, on whatever level of reality - human, spirit, angel or god. Only the stronger belief system will overcome. So, it is extremely important that there are belief systems in this world which empower the 'good, the vital, and the healing', and by which the instigators of those systems live their lives and inspire the lives of others. 

 

We, as God, think and create the 'world' we live in and all the concepts that arise in us. That is why I appreciate the Druidic creation of the 'Law of Right Action'. Chaos is easily manifested by 'irresponsible thoughts and feelings', and can be expressed in 'subtle ways' we too easily accept as 'par for the course' in our 'reality.' We should all 'be careful of what we wish for'. 

 

However, there is another 'level of being' that is purely 'intuitive and sensory': the realm of the 'psychic' and the 'spiritual'. To me, the 'Inner Self' is the 'Higher Mind' and is a direct link to our 'divine selves'. I believe that we are therefore never alone in life, no matter how well our 'reality' makes us believe we are. We have never actually left the 'cosmic pool' from whence we originated, and the 'reality' we believe we have become part of is simply a 'creation' in the 'Mind of God'. Just as our human 'reality' shows how easy it is to get lost in our own minds with thoughts and dreams that transport us from our 'reality' into another fantastic 'realm,' and the return from which leaves us feeling that we have 'lost' some 'time,' so does the 'Mind of God' work. When God thinks or dreams, God creates a 'reality,' and dynamises it's life. In the manifestation of our lives, we are each the 'personality fragments' of the 'Mind of God' expressing itself. 


After our mortal incarnation, when we become part of the 'cosmic pool' again (the unmanifested mind of God), we merge with many other individual 'specks'. However, I do not believe we lose our unique identities (as spirit) though we are 'parts of the mind of God'. You may think that such a state would mean that individuality is 'lost', but it can be likened to being part of a 'vast crowd of people at a rock concert', and feeling crushed and impersonal amongst their oppressively warm bodies. It does not mean that we lose our 'essential identity'. Consider that an ocean is made of countless cells of water, yet each cell is an individual element. Only the form of the cell changes - thus, a water cell transforms from ocean, to steam vapour, to gas cloud, to rain droplet/hail/snowflake, to stream and river, and to ocean, again. Such is the cycle of life manifesting in the mind of God.

 

 

 

 (Index )

AFTER DEATH 

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I have 'seen' something of where we go to when we die and I believe I was shown it for a reason. Therefore, I have since told of it to many people who have been trying to cope with death experiences. It seems to reassure them. 

 

The vision came in a trance in my shower (of all places) when I was in my 20s and it baselines my every thought where death is concerned. So, no matter what other processes our spirit goes through once the physical body dies, I 'know' we will end up in what I term the 'Living Colors' (or, at least, I will). 

 

In that realm, the space is totally filled with 'colors' constantly moving over, slithering around, and passing through each other - some slowly, some fast. The colors are so 'alive' and so brilliant that it is hard to put into words. 

 

I understood them to be the basic building blocks of everything we know in the 'manifest worlds'. They were at once a whole being and the individual parts of it, and as I 'stood' in an undefined space watching them, I knew that if I stayed longer I would be merged back into them (or at least one of them) again. My 'speck' would become part of them. Yet I also 'knew' that even if I was re-merged into them, I would still be an individual with my own will and freedom of choice.

 

It seemed to me that each 'living color' was like a god or 'over soul' and that each entity was made up of a great multitude (of which I was one, currently undergoing incarnation). Yet, all these 'gods' or 'over souls' were also part of the 'great entity' whose 'body' held them together. 

 

I did feel that I was in the 'Mind of God''. It felt wonderful to be there and I thought that, when I died, I would be happy to return. There was such a feeling of peace and joy and fun, and nothing else. The expression was just a total enjoyment of living and of being alive. However, at the time I wasn't ready to die (my family might have objected), so I came back to awareness in my shower, breathing great ragged breaths as the water still poured over my face. (There was nothing physically wrong with me and nothing further ensued from this. It was purely a psychic experience). 

I believe that the 'Mind of God' plays 'games' that make it's Life interesting and, since 'God's Mind' is so vast and brilliant, of course it must fragment itself into a super-multiplicity to do so. You could liken that to the expression of a genius' human mind, which splits its thoughts up to flow into a multitude of directions, and bounces them around and plays with them all as they juggle for space and domination. Perhaps that explains my vision of the multiplicity of 'Living Colors.'

 

 

 
 

 

I believe there are many demi-gods in 'God's existence', just as there are angels and spirits, human beings and animals, comets and planets. Multiple dimensions overlap each other. Realms of manifestation vibrate at different frequencies so we can all co-exist in the same space. 

 

To me, demi-gods are just another 'manifesting form' of God. Yet, I once rejected the thought of 'spirit guides', masters, etc. I liked to think of myself as helping myself and that it was not necessary to look to 'others' (including gods) for guidance or help - that all I had to do was to live my life as best as I could and to remember how God imbues all. 

 

Then, I came to realise that such an attitude was quite arrogant and isolationist. For one thing is a common thread in the 'reality' we live in, where the 'laws' that hold the 'manifesting universe' together are to be found in simple, everyday experiences - that all life is interconnected, symbiotic, and communal. Therefore, it follows that these processes would also be found in other dimensions and in the other 'layers of manifestation', in some of which there are gods and angels and spirits, etc. residing. 

 

To reject help from these areas is similar to rejecting the help of other human beings. It may make you feel strong, briefly, but it is also a lonely existence and much more difficult than it need be. I have come to feel, therefore, that rejection of such assistance may be egotistic and perhaps conformed by pride. 

 

God conceived our universe as a whole entity. We are an extension and manifestation of God, itself, so we are all parts of the whole. 'Cutting ourselves off' from others is, in a sense, 'cutting ourselves off' from God, and when we do that our spirit begins to feel lost and lonely. 

 

It is not necessary to accept 'help' from all quarters. It is always our freedom of choice to accept or reject, but it's not healthy, either, to close our minds against the help which has been made available to us. In fact, I have learned that it can be quite frustrating for those beings, (call them gods or angels, or whatever), to be pushed away when they are so ready to befriend us. There really are 'honest-to-God' angels or demi-gods, etc., around us who are only too ready to help, just as there really are 'honest-to-God' good Samaritan human beings. 

 

 

 
 

 

So, finally, I come to my reasons for ritualising my spirituality. 

 

I worship God through rituals because I prefer to make time to remember the 'blessings of life' for what they are. I like to follow the 'pagan seasons' and observe the 'pagan ritual festivals' because they enable me to cultivate a sense of the process of life, its dearths and its abundance, and to understand that all moves in cycles. 

 

I believe that it is easy for people to forget their 'spiritual essence' and to allow the extremely strong 'laws' manifesting their 'physical reality' to lull them into believing they are 'caught up in a fate' from which there is 'no escape but death'. 

 

You could liken my spiritual worship to a form of taking time out to celebrate the energies of life and to be restored to harmony, as some people do through yoga or meditation. We all should do that at times. 

 

I love it that paganism is about expressing spirituality as life not death, that it is about 'behaving spiritually' not just talking about it. I enjoy the wonderful uplift that I attain from celebrating my life, 'God's life', and the 'life of the world'. 

 

I don't particularly believe that to be a pagan, or to worship God, you have to follow exactly the way I do my rituals, or anyone else's rituals for that matter. In fact, I believe that you should create and enact whatever ritual you personally feel is good for you to achieve 'a sense of relationship with the divine and your own spirit'. 

 

That may be through words and actions, or through a simple meditation, dwelling within your own mind and merging with your spirit for a time. 

 

Of course, if you feel your life and 'self' is already in total balance and 'right relationship with the divine', you don't have to have any ritual at all. God does not actually need to be honored for our lives to continue, naturally, as they will. 

 

However, just as it is good to honor ourselves and we find that such honoring energises us, taking time to honor and worship God returns energy to the source. Celebrating the divine by taking a dip in the 'cosmic pool' can be refreshing and can have real and positive effect in our lives. 

 

To me, God is my 'parent', my 'creator', and my 'foundation'. I know that my  'parent' enjoys my 'visit' because I am showered with abundance and love. This is how God, the Essence, responds on a very 'real' level to my worship. As it is with many parents, these gifts are not always what I desire, but they are full of blessing and generosity. As the saying goes, I 'don't always get what I want' but I 'get what I need.' 

 

In my life, I have known 'real' miracles to occur. I believe those miracles can only happen when we bring God closer to us, not just in its 'Mind' but in its 'Spirit'. That is the truth of being blessed, and that is the value of worship. 

 

While it's okay to just tootle along in life and let things happen as they will, 'God's Essence' can imbue us with the strength and knowledge to make more of our lives than would otherwise occur. Worshipful celebration instils joy into 'reality'. Through joy, we suddenly find ways through or over obstacles - ways we never knew existed. These changes are not always in the physical state of things, but may often be in how we adapt to such difficulties. In thus becoming more capable, we use the 'gift' of our lives in a much better way.