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Here am I, flaring amid the silky depth of the universe, dancing on the cosmic breeze and enjoying the ephemeral moment of physical life while it lasts. Here I be, a divine spark embedded in the physical realm, fanning the flame within. Who am I - the Goddess Aletheia, or Li, spirit of Fire and Truth? The Anam Cara, the essence of creativity? The hearthstone, Beth, around which my family gathers? Could I be Danu, Parvati, or any of many other names? No titles or modes confine me. I am an element of eternity in the mind of the divine, incarnating in human form once again to relate, express, and observe. 

 

In the roleplay of humankind, I am an astrologer, artist, writer, graphic designer, jeweler, business owner, carer, metaphysical/spiritual healer, and empath. In earlier years of my life, I was also an actor and theatre group founder/manager, among other things. 

 

In this incarnation, I was born when the Sun was high in the heavens, conjunct Uranus in Leo - destined to lead a life where I stand out in a crowd, no matter how hard I might try to hide (Moon in Pisces and Jupiter in the Twelfth House). With a Scorpio ascendant, Neptune in Scorpio, and a Pisces Moon, I am sensitive and intense, but Mars in Taurus gives me stamina and resilience against the odds, and Saturn in Sagittarius in my First House brings a flavour of philosophy to my life. And with Mercury conjunct Pluto in Virgo, and Venus in the Eighth House, I am naturally inquisitive and searching, and have a deep love for the mysteries. 

 

I married at a relatively young age, and have three adult children and five grandchildren. Today, I live in a specially built house with my disabled son, 'Pumpkin' (who was run down in a traffic accident as a child ), my husband and pets, and am visited regularly by my other children and grandchildren. That noted, since I have a strong belief in reincarnation and presume I have been in many such roles through many lifetimes, I don't define myself by any titles or confine myself in gender or species. 

 

My life has been filled with battles and tragedies, yet I have survived them all because of my boundless belief in divinity. To this end, looking for answers to the spiritual and psychic sensitivity I was born with, I have explored many religions. psycho-spiritual arts, fortune-telling. group psychic practices, healing circles, churches, temples, self-help groups, and support groups. I have studied many philosophies, religions and spiritual paths, and many modes of prophecy. Yet I did not find my niche. Only my own center guided me. Only my spirit mentors helped me. Only my visions and dreams made sense of this life for me. In the end, my conclusion has been that all I have ever found outside myself was already within myself and no prophecy has ever been as valid as those I myself dreamt or foresaw (at least, for myself and my family).

 

I have lived a full life with many and varied interests, but above all, I am a spiritual being. This is what underlies all my actions and all events in my life. Spirituality is the expression of my core being, and to enable that expression I enact a self-styled neo-paganism with an eclectic spirituality inclusive of Druidism ( an ancient spirituality that is known mostly from the solstice rituals still performed at Stonehenge, in England, today ), Buddhism, and Tantra/Veda, in which I am joined by my husband, close family and friends. While the Druid aspect and rituals are focused in my spirituality even these are self-styled and my rituals self-written. I believe that everyone should follow their own spiritual path in life and should express that path in the fullest beauty of their own inner spirit. Today, I rarely attend temples or rule assigned gatherings but practice a regular ritual connection with the divine and deep meditations upon the moments of life for myself and others. 

 

My angels tell me I am a goddess and although this is against Western notions I've come to accept the idea as an expression of my spirit on Earth - not for fame and fortune but toward a deeply responsible life wherein I can perhaps impart some modicum of wisdom and guidance in the world. That said, I am not interested in playing any particular goddess/guru role in the minds of others or in life, in any other fashion. For me, being a goddess simply means that my spiritual evolution has accorded me in-born gifts and it is of benefit to use them, but my belief is in the spiritual peerage of all beings and that we are all born of the same source, so I will never play any role that places myself above others. Nor would I want to, since in incarnate form we are all prone to the laws of the physical condition on body, mind and spirit levels, which means that I can be as fallible and errant as the next person. Plus, I have to acknowledge that the only goddess figure I could aspire to these days is that of the ancient earth mother with her dangling breasts, bulging belly and hips made for the hugs of grandchildren.

 

 

In truth, I am a dichotomous being, a dual creature created of spirit embedded in the physical condition with all the idiosyncrasies, challenges and constant balancing act necessary to that state. My spirit is, was and always will be accepted by the divine as an artistic expression of its mind, and is therefore beautiful despite my flaws and failings. I am thus designed and painted by god in all its manifestations, and bow humbly to my co-creator. 

 

I have learned to respect all religions, all beliefs and all life, as connected and heading the same way. I have a great need to show my respect and honor for this world, for divinity and for life, itself. I have a great need to acknowledge the many blessings given me in my life and the guidance, inspiration, love and understanding I have received from God and all its helpers, and all its many parts and roles. I know that when I look inside myself that I am talking to God. I know that when I look outside of myself that I am seeing and living in God. I know that when I move through this world and meet with other entities, whether plant, animal or mineral that I am interacting with God. My joys are transcendental. My nadirs are enlightening. I enjoy playing with life on a serious and intense level. I enjoy being here and do not understand why one would want to seek Nirvana or other states of 'endless nothing'. To me, such states seek death. I am sad for those who cannot find the structures of belief which will enable them to find or create heaven on earth or who do not fully appreciate what opportunities we have here so that they forever seek escape rather than understanding and enlightenment. 

 

I believe in reincarnation. To me, all life is a revolving between two states of God: God, the Integral - the Female, passive side of God, whence we return into the Cosmic Pool (Nirvana) to rest and think and rejuvenate, and wash away the pain and turmoil of manifest life, and plan our next foray into God, the Infinite - the active, male side in which we dwell as physical beings and forget our spiritual source so that we may be subverted to the physical laws of the manifest universe, and truly relate to each other and all around us, and explore and learn and reveal our own truth, and feel and grow and battle and strive and achieve until we tire and need to rest again. As far as I know, all life and all laws point to circles and cycles. On every level, microcosm to macrocosm, the same patterns and cycles are found so why should not spiritual life be the same? 

I am a fatalist. I believe in destiny and a set path yet I see that path as if it were a book of maps rather than a single road - maps which are already printed and have structures that are mostly unchanging. In my view, we are able to follow any of these many mapped paths and therefore we have many choices, and these can seem to be of endless combination but they still lie within the confines of our destiny or map books and only seem to be endless because of the limitation of our life span. In the end, in our physical lives, we have gone from one place and ended in another, each mapped prior to our birth and along the way, no matter which route we chose, we passed many of the essential milestones we needed to pass to unfold the life we needed to unfold. 

I tend to wonder if a successful life is one which wanders to such a degree that it passes most of the milestones instead of just a few. If manifest life is experiencing the Infinite, which is the endless combination of relationships we have to anything and everything, then surely the more experience we get the more we are truly living no matter what that experience may be? That idea may put some people on a level of moral high ground where they protest that one should not be given free licence to behave any way they wish; but on a cosmic level, where all life is endless and no manifestation ultimately affects the spiritual base, all experience is enlightening and fun to explore. 

 

I do not advocate anarchy or futile acts or fruitless energy waste. I do not advocate negativity. I am actually rather conservative in my own behaviors and morals. But I find as I pray that the answers I receive are often unexpected and it is then that I realise that I have unwittingly asked my questions of God, the One, or the Mother-Father whose perspective is definitely on a cosmic level. For instance, when my visions of the earth changes to come frightened me and made me pray for deliverance, I was told what does it matter? All would return to God and begin again another way. It is only our illusion of loss that sees us clinging to our lives and physical presence on this Earth, and I did understand that as truth but I could not accept that on a physical or emotional level. It was then that I began to understand more about the administration of God, that God has many levels which deal with different sectors of its life just as our own brains have different areas to stimulate different actions and behaviors. That was when I accepted my spiritual, angelic and ghostly mentors, and acknowledged their help in my life more clearly, when previously I had arrogantly brushed them off by saying why do I need such help when I must follow my own path and do my own thing, learn my own lessons and grow my own way, and when I have only to talk directly to God to find my answers? Just as in physical life we have friends and mentors so have we on a spiritual level, for none of us are ever meant to be alone on our paths. The links are always there. All we have to do is call on them. (This is the basis for talismans - which my angels call beacons, and see them as signals asking for help). I began to see cosmic God as the main parental figure or the government, or the head of the church, etc., and that other facets of God like devas and angels, and even physical mentors, administrated the essential life force. 

In Druidry and Buddhism, all life is divine. All life is God. There are many gods if you see things that way and there is the Dual God, the Father-Mother; the Male-Female, the Active-Passive, or in the Veda, Shiva-Shakti, and right at the core there is just One God, the Light and the Way, and the Heart and the Life that imbues us all, that inspires everything, Ardhanarishvara, the combined god - Vishnu or Brahma. In Druid Law, we must live within the laws of the physical universe (and, in fact, these laws allow much to be done on a level most people call supernatural but which are simply not comprehended fully yet. Science is only just discovering pieces of this through, say, Quantum mechanics). While God, the Creator, dwells on a cosmic level, we as physical beings do not. We glimpse it. It underlines our whole life. but we are confined by our physical destiny while manifest (alive in a physical body) and must follow the rules that bind us. For instance, there is no such thing as time or gravity in cosmic terms yet in our physical world we follow a linear path and mostly cannot change it - and gravity is always a factor which binds us together, which binds the planets, the systems, the universe and even our atoms together. The law of attraction holds together the physical universe. That is undeniable. Yet from God's point of view it is simply fantasy and play. So, while God says, truthfully, that all will be well in the end no matter what happens, to me that is like saying to a child who errs, don't worry about the terrible mistakes you've made, I'll still love you and pick up the pieces and help you back to the right path any time you want to turn in that direction. That doesn't really give us the right to do anything we please in our lives at anyone's expense. Nor does it give us the right to create murder and mayhem. 

 

The physical laws which bind us are most evident as karma. Which is not actually retribution or reward in the next life (or in this) but the reassessed program of our lives. Say we are not doing too well in our degree at university. A panel assesses our situation and advises us on what course to take to improve things. We still have the choice to stuff up or to make things better. We are only under advisement. If we really stuff up completely we'll fail the course. Yet we still live and life goes on, and we are put into a different situation and taught things about ourselves in different ways. Then, when we have learned more about ourselves and self-discipline, we can go back as a mature-age student and try it all over again. (With reincarnation that may be in another life...) The thing is that there are actually points to living as a physical being. Which doesn't mean to say we are forced to make something of ourselves. God says to me, all we have to do if we want to is simply exist, like a tree, growing silently and steadily. In the same way, our presence is felt in the world and when we die our presence is missed even by those who took our lives for granted. 

In past times, I have allowed other people to condemn me for not making more of my life and talents (usually during a more passive period, after active periods when I achieved much...) but God said to me that I am only expected to do what I want to do, that I will fulfil the urges of my natural self when they arise and it is then that my life will be more active. God doesn't expect much - but within our destiny and within the DNA of our physical selves, certain laws have already been imbued and will naturally inspire us. Life is duality. Everything has two sides. So of course action is balanced by inaction and vice versa. It's natural and mayhap we won't always follow the same paths of action that we did previously but it will still be action, nonetheless. In Druid law, we are warned that whatever we put out comes back to us threefold, for good or bad. If you look at this life as a place of learning and growth, and multiplication, then it's obvious that a law has been set in place governing these things, so it would follow then that what we activate will come back to us in greater value. So, there's an inbuilt deterrent for 'wrong' behavior. 

 

Life is not easy. It can be very, very difficult. Even a rich person has problems and even a saint. The difference between heaven and hell, on earth, is the attitude you have and the actions you take. Though we do not have control over natural events or other disasters which may 'ruin' our lives, we can use the experience to further ourselves and to gain a greater understanding of the cosmos and each other if we have the right attitudes. Loss is never permanent, not on a cosmic level and not on a physical one. Something else will always replace it. Perhaps not straight away or in the same quantity but a new beginning always arises from an ending - that is a physical law. It may not be what we think we want or need. We may even mourn our loss but most often we have gained something quite unique from the events which affect us, if only on an inner perspective level which then colours our further course and relationships in life. 

 

For myself, while it's well to be sure of my philosophy and belief, and to have such guidelines, in practice I often find it difficult to stay on track, to not be judgemental or condemning, to control my own emotions and reactions and my own behavior. When I 'fall down,' I am most of all self-condemnatory. Mine has been a difficult learning curve and continues that way but God loves me, anyway, and continues to bring miracles and enlightenment into my life. I once made myself feel unworthy of these blessings because I didn't feel I had earned them. Then, one day, when I was praying I asked God to forgive me for my failings and for the first time I felt a sensation of frustration and anger directed to me as God told me in exasperation to forgive myself. I was told that I should look at my overall life not nitpick at pieces. So what if the pieces were absolute doozies if I had and did pick up the pieces, put in further effort, realigned myself, learnt something and above all kept trying to be better? I was told that it's not actually the result that counts - it's the ongoing effort. Of course from a cosmic level, God knows that such activity can be made in either a spiritual, psychic, mental, emotional or physical way, so what might seem to be a period of 'inactivity' to our physical peers may be 'full steam ahead' on a hidden level. Even a tree, simply existing, might acknowledge the world around it and all that comes to it, and think about what it observes. That is an activity all by itself. 

 

I believe it is when activity stops or reduces dramatically on all levels so that we no longer find any value in physical life that our natural lives end. The longest lives appear to be wrought in those who are fascinated by simply living. In this modern world we are often abstracted from spiritual reality yet constantly searching for something to bring us a sense of fulfilment, even if that is the brief thrill of material possessions. Many religions offer guidance but also politics which mess the basic values. Paganism, in its many forms, including some Eastern religions like Buddhism and Taoism, have offered me spiritualised structures that bring God into an active living level in my physical world. It is not enough for me to just admire the manifestations of God or become a God groupie and nor is it for many others. There is a wave of spiritual people in the world today who align to no religion or particular belief - many of whom are 'New Agers'' - who do very well at bringing spirituality into their functional lives but who often get bogged down with questions and a lack of understanding when crisis touches them. For me, this meant I needed to find more structure even if I made it up myself. I found much of that in the ancient Celtic spirituality of Druidry and original Wicca which are very much like Taoism or native American or Australian aboriginal beliefs, and not the negative dogma propagated by religions determined to find enemies. Druidry recognises nothing as being essentially evil and all as being essentially good. Druidry sees positive and negative as two sides of a whole which must find balance between the two. That is the only battle between darkness and light - that it find equality, not that one extinguishes the other.

In this modern world, my own self-criticism and light-seeking have seen me looking for a better structure and guidance on a more physical level for my beliefs. I needed a regimen to remind me of what life was all about and to regularly honor it, so that the feeling of bliss would more constantly imbue my actions and feelings, and enable me to transcend the subversions of this mortal world, to remember I am spirit having a human experience. In Druidry, I found that and thus give worship on special feast-days which acknowledge not just the rites of passage and seasons of the planet but which reflect these in all of life and in myself. These rituals serve to remind me of what life is all about and bring me into contact with my divine self. I feel I am giving God its due instead of running to God only when my life is in crisis and I am very aware of the reaction God has had to my structured worship and thanks. I know it is much appreciated - for God, like us, likes to be acknowledged. God likes us to declare we know who we are, we know where we come from and we know what it's all about. It's an active form of expressing enlightenment and, in doing so, I raise my vibrational levels and have a different effect in my world. 

 

So that is the underpinning of me - these ideas, modes and values. These are what lie behind and underneath my roleplays in the physical realm or world. So I'm glad to have found a niche in which to express them in a way that even those who don't believe what I believe and who don't follow my spiritual paths can value. This niche encompasses our family run business, Lilipily Spirit, where I can create elements and information for inspiring and empowering others through the deceptively simple modes of design, art, jewelry, and words, etc. My aim, along with those I work with, is toward balance, harmony, and healing and attempting to bring about connections to the divine and its many manifestations through the mundane symbologies of ordinary things - the subtle reminders that we are not alone in this life or on this planet. In these modes, I focus on the concept of beauty being in the mind of the beholder and it is my belief that what people surround themselves with, what they wear/use, and what they look at can serve to inspire them. This belief has arisen through my own experiences and how I found ways to get through challenges. By enabling this focus, our business aspires to empower those who feel lost or disconnected so they can regain hope, strength and persistence to keep plying life through the challenges of the physical world. 

 

I cannot say that my modes are infallible. I make no claim to perfection nor believe that it exists except in verbal form - as in, to perfect. I am not perfect nor ever wish to be. My cosmos is perfect in all its imperfections and so am I in mine. All any of us can ever do is their best with the circumstances and state they find themselves in at any moment in time. I can only claim at any time that I did my best with the best of intentions. Integrity is important to me. It gives shape to all I do and all I plan to be. All chaos seeks integrity at its end. My aims are only to move all elements to that purpose. While chaos has its place in creative manipulations, integrity is the glade of peace within the heart wherein the voice of god breaks through the stillness and the mind achieves clarity. With clarity, we can see our path and know how to walk safely upon it.

 

Above all, I am thankful for existence and its wonderful variances and interesting experiences, believing that the 'for better or worse' only pertains to the physical realm and will cease when I shed my body again. Meet me on any of these levels.


Blessings! And may your journey make you smile...

 

 
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